The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
