It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
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