My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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