I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
