Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
