you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
