We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize