I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize