i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
