It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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