sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
