walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
