Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
