He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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