you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize