Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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