I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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