Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
