Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
