I'm laying in your front yard are you home
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
