So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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