he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
