You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
