that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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