Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Randomize
