I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
