I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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