So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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