I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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