I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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