Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
