Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
