I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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