she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
