I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
