I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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