hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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