Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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