id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
