It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
