hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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