I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
