No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize