Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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