3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
