my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
