I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
