his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
