i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
