Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
