puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
