How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
