I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize