Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
