VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I've blown a few things in my day
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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