My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
