I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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