So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
