i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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