i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
