but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize