Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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