I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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